Tag Archives: EA

If they made a movie out of burnout.

fast-and-furious-paul-walker-illuminati-one-all-seeing-eye

 

The fast and the Furious franchise had a gem in Paul Walker but with his death I know the franchise still has the space and opportunity to move on. Easily actually, yes the one white guy between the solid wall of brown is missing and I’m sure if the series is going to survive; they’ll fix it. but they have moved beyond street racing to create driving movies. 

 

It looks like the movies following the game need for speed has filled the gap needed for street racing. But I believe there’s a Michael bay sized gap for hardcore racing that has been long neglected, and that’s crash centric racing.

Which is were burnout comes in. 

 

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Now here me out. I’m sure you’re already backing away from me. A movie where care deliberately blow each other up, I’m sure you thought ‘mario Kart’ and decided fuck it. 

This is not Markio Kart, this is the end of the world as we know it. Why do I say that? Because the burnout universe is exactly the same as the SSX universe, which is obvious a futuristic universe. Considering the cities used in SSX and how they essentially hollow out a city every time they host their major death defying events. What if the world were very much like the cities.

 

Imagine a somewhere post dystopic society. We’ve all seen enough dystopic stories that end in freedom to create a full backstory with like three paragraphs of explosion. Hell, you could do it up style, us two second scenes and end up with the final scene independence day and then fade to black and write 100 years later and boom you’re finished, we fill in the dots. 

Now here’s something I believe is important.

GIVE IT A PUNK ROCK VIBE!!

 

I’m a huge fan of punk rock and have been in love with every SSX soundtrack(iffier on SSX 3 but still liked it) with SSX on tour being my favourite as it also gave you the option of cutting out the boring SHIT. 

 

Now that’s a very basic outline of the background. Under populated cities, rebuilding in a crushed world where the good guys won. Now comes our story as is a popular trend right now with people making movies from games which would otherwise have absolutely no plot and therefore nothing to live up to while still having a supportive fan base. 

The burnout franchise appears to have died a horrible HORRIBLE death, it has potential to be sent off with a bang, unmatched and unrivalled. A bustling world trying to be a world. When you have your protagonist. Jef, because I fucking hate Jeff. I know nothing about kid actors other than they suck and have pointlessly bad parents(and that’s when they’re not bad at being alive). Seriously if you’re going to be terrible at least make sure that your kid gains some skill for it. So I’m going to say the high school vibe because if we’re talking EA their we’re talking mass marketing so the younger the better an old punk rock vibe would be too goth, too cult.

Which is damn shame.

So anyway we had clock work orange, Daniel Day Lewis type character. He’s not a nerd, he’s not from a foreign nation. He’s not a jock, he’s not even nice. What he is, is smart and very indifferent to most thanks as he just kinda lets life happen. He has two side kicks, useful and expendable. 

Usefull as it turns out is extremely useful has he had created a system of hacking into any car he wants the system is something that surpassed the system of stolen car hacks. 

There’s already an underground network of hacks which lead to the cars of the time which ran completely automatically. You don’t battle for pink slips but for heavily encrypted hack keys. That not only start a car but get it to drive with you. This settles the element of multiple cars and the element of careless racing, only the hacks are hard but the characters have very limited investment in them. 

Something which screams of all the hallmarks that made the law of burnout without making too much of a fuss as it is humanly possible to hold suspension of disbelieve. 

 

I have now proven that there is no reason why this movie should not exist.

 

SO SOMEONE FUCKING MAKE IT!

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